Segalanya Bermula

Just right before we got married, we made a pact to wait for 6 months before trying to conceive.

But after about 2 months we thought we'd just give it a go.

1 or 2 months after that, my period got very odd. Keluar dengan sangat sedikit dan brownish from start to finish. Although period keluar selama hampir seminggu tapi setiap hari terlalu sedikit that only panty liners ought to be sufficient.

I went to see a doctor. She scanned my belly and beritahu I may be pregnant tapi tak nampak lagi. Might be due to implantation bleeding bila telur yang telah disenyawakan nak menempel ke dinding rahim, jadi keluar lah sedikit darah due to the drilling. Macam nak sangkut gambar ke dinding, bila dinding kene drill keluarlah serpihan simen. Something like that. During that time, I pon suspect that I was pregnant because my sense of smell tiba-tiba menjadi sangat power, kepala pening, badan angin-angin dan rasa penat sangat.

Next month period keluar lagi and punah harapan. I suspected that I had chemical pregnancy which means very early miscarriage. I got a bit sad thinking about it. Biasalah perempuan suka syak bukan-bukan. Create a story into my head and get emotional about it.

Since I got married, my period got very odd. Sometimes sikit, sometimes normal flow, sometimes sebulan 2 kali. I wonder why. One kakak told me that biasalah tu... ada bendasing masuk dalam badan kita kan. Again, fikir bukan-bukan, I think it's due to my aging. 27 is already old no? I should've married latest by 24 years old. My friends who got married @ 23/24 was able to conceive within 6 months the most. Or may be the problem started when we made the pact?